Stealth, Silent, Sneaky!  I feel like James Bond every morning as I try to tip toe past my dogs to go do my morning bible study.  Sometimes I think, “mission accomplished” when all of a sudden, I hear the wagging of happy tails.  I have been spotted!  As I open their cages I just giggle as I watch them run out into the backyard.  They are so excited about a brand new day!  I love it!  We have a black lab named Midnight and a little maltese named Rambo.  They are quite a pair!  Midnight is just over a year old.  Rambo is four.  My husband has wanted a lab for years.   I surprised him with her last year.  She is such a sweet blessing to our family.  She loves her ball and needs lots of play time.  Today, I thought I would work on her retrieving skills .  I laughed to myself, “maybe Ron could use her to retrieve golf balls in So Cal.”  Well, we started with the basics.  She knew how to retrieve the ball and how to sit and wait.  I wanted to see if she could do it through hand signs.  She did it! What a girl.  I would throw the ball.  She would wait for me to give the signal.  Many times I would run to another part of the yard, let her wait, and then give her the signal from a distance.   She waited patiently for the the signal and off she went, going for the goal.  She would grab the ball and run back with her prize!  Tail wagging and ready to do it again.  Obedient, patient, content and happy.  Isn’t that how we should live life daily?  Obedient to the Lords commands.  Patient, as He guides and shapes us.  Content to follow His plan.  This would leave us tail waggin’ and happy.  Yes, it is difficult to go through the training at times.  It may be challenging because we may not hear the directions.  But as we study and spend more time with Him, He gives us the eyes to see Him at work.  We can see His direction.  And then, all of a sudden, we have reached the goal.  Peace, contentment, rest.  I don’t believe that the Lord wants us to live a life with no direction.  He knows the desires of our hearts.  He calls us to spend time with Him.  He mentors us through situations if we allow Him.  He has the end product in mind.  Plans to prosper us, to give us a hope and a future.  But first, we must be willing to give Him the ball.

     For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)

For many, the day after Thanksgiving starts the ball rolling towards a busy December full of activities.  Well, our activities began Friday night.  Two of my girls were invited to a 12th Birthday Party of a sweet friend named Paula.  This was their first “big girl” party.  The theme was Old Hollywood. All week they talked about the “Big Night”.  What would they wear?  How would they do their hair?  Do they have the jewels?  They searched the Internet for 40′s hairstyles and makeup.  We searched the closets for the perfect dress.  Friday came, it was the “Big Night”.  We set up shop up in my bathroom.  We whipped out the red lipstick and rhinestone earrings.  What a blast!  We had so much fun getting ready.  When we arrived at the party that evening, they had rolled out the red carpet.  Paula’s older sisters each had a role.  One was the Italian chef and the other was a member of the paparazzi.  The evening was a real treat for all the girls.  

As I think back at that special “Big Night” that the girls anticipated coming, there is the ultimate ”Big Night” just around the corner.  Christmas!  It’s the time of celebrating Christ’s birth… the promise of rebirth.  But as our calendars fill up with the events of the season, rejoicing can be crowded aside.  We can sometimes forget that Christmas is not a one day event.  For Christmas ”giving” is a way of life.  Let us not forget the centuries of waiting for the promised Messiah… the anticipation of the ”Big Day”.  

“I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.” Luke 2:10    

How can I ever trust again? He lied!

You did it again! I am numb!

She doesn’t hear what I am saying!

I’ll love you… if you respect me! I have given him plenty of second chances!

These are just a few of the statements that I hear from hurting couples on a weekly basis.  Never before in 15 years of ministry have we experienced such a call of desperation.  The last few weeks it has been almost daily.  It is like a cancer (or plague) among friends.  These are families, faithful servants, that are falling apart before our eyes.  Lives hang by a thread, children’s futures are affected for eternity.  Some reach for help and healing no matter how bad the circumstances, some throw in the towel.  For those that get help, it is awesome to see our Jehovah Rapha (Exodus 15:26 “the Lord our healer”) come and restore their marriage.  His healing touch can change the darkest of circumstances.  He gives hope to the hopeless.  The same Jesus that healed yesterday wants to heal today!  The problem is that couples think they are alone!  For years couples have gone to church and played the part all the while a slow death is occurring in the home.  Who do you tell? Where do go?  What will people think?  Sad to say Christians are the best at shooting their own wounded.  Is church really a safe place?  It can be.  It is our desire for couples to know they can come to the Fellowship and be loved and that they can come to Ron and me for help.  We have been there…   

Year’s ago Ron and I went through the pit.  We call it “Hero’s to Zero’s” or “Christians Rejected and Persecuted”!  When you are in ministry and go through difficult times it can be very dark and lonely.  Families in ministry are on the front lines of a spiritual battle.  When the Lord allows you to impact a dark world Satan is not “a happy camper”.  You must have your armor on at all times.  Satan knows if he can take out the generals he has a higher chance of destroying the platoon.  Well, years ago we were definitely on the front lines but we had holes in our armor that opened us up for attack.  I believe that all christian families are in a spiritual but many do not realize who the true enemy is.  They sometimes think it is each other.  They do not realize that Satan is out to kill, steal and detroy their family.

Years ago Ron preached live weekly to over 450,000 households via a church owned TV station.  When his mom passed away unexpectedly, he stated one time from the pulpit that He was upset at times and didn’t understand her early death but he knew God was sovereign.  At this time, my former Marine just didn’t talk about topics like this.  But I can say my hubby has always preached from the heart.  Well, a viewer called in and said a pastor should not be upset at God or question God’s actions.  This began the slow fade in my husband as He turned the hurt inward.  This “whatever” attitude affected all of us.   The fact is, being a christian and stumbling, hurting or admitting failure is not accepted by many.   Here we teach that God is a God of grace, but for many they are in short supply of giving grace.  For some, grace only applies to those who make mistakes or are broken before they are saved. No, by grace we live daily!  No one has arrived!  Not even your spouse!  But someone has well said, “In order to give God’s grace we must have received God’s grace.”  The more forgiven we are the more we forgive.  Many marriages breakdown because of the lack of grace between spouses.  A lack in the ability to share your heart without being criticized. Sometimes a spouse just wants you to listen even if you don’t understand.  We heal sometimes just by listening to ourselves talk.   Listening can be challenging and takes 110% from both parties.

For us, our speedbump was such a blessing from the Lord.  We could have had a million dollar ministry and ten cent kids.  We grew up a lot and learned so much as a couple.  God’s word talks about Peter being sifted as wheat (“Simon, Simon, behold Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.” Luke 22:31-32) I’ll take my sifted bag of flour hubby anytime!  I had a nice set of baggage from my early years (abuse, death, alcoholism, depression etc.)   We had the opportunity to slow down and unpack together.  We used to say, we wanted to be able to really relate and minister to hurting families;  I never expected to be one!  Well, we were, now by the total grace of God He is using it for His glory.  We were able to see life from the other side of the pulpit.  Now we can minister to hurting families like never before, with a heart of understanding the pain.  He has totally refocused and restored our ministry and I am thankful. 

Do I wish I could say ministry and the Christian life has been easy?  Sure.  That my husband and I have not been a David or a Peter? You Bet! But I serve a Risen Savior!  One who heals the lame.   Peter had breakfast by the sea with Jesus (John 21) after he totally blew it and then he was sent out to preach Penecost (Acts 2).  Our sins are as far as the East is to the West if we turn it over to Him.  He knows your heart!  He wants to heal your marriage!  He wants to forgive you and wrap you in His arms!  He wants to make “beauty for ashes and strength for fear”!  You have to be willing to turn it over to Him.  He is there in your desperation.  Call out to Him!   

“CALL to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.” Jer. 33:3

Over the past week the girls and I have been reading a book at night called “Hinds Feet in High Places”.  As we cuddle up we enjoy the beautiful allegory of how the Shepard takes us on a journey.  The little girl, Much-Afraid, is on her way to the High Places.  As she travels she learns to take the hands of Sorrow and Suffering in order to gain strength.  When she faces characters like Pride and Self-Pity she realizes all she has to do is call to the Shepard and He is there.  That is the same for us!  He is there when we cry out to Him.  So many times we wait and try to handle situations in our own strength when the Father is just waiting for us to call on Him.  He knows our weaknesses and He has a purpose for our lives.  He is not wringing His hands and fretting about our mindlessness as we veer repeatedly of the path that He has for us. 

Jer. 29:11 says, “I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”  

He thinks about us! He wants to give us peace, hope and a future!  When strongholds like fear, worry or pride take over our thoughts let us remember that He is waiting on us to call home to Him.  In the listening, He will not respond with words that condemn us or reject us.  In fact, He does not even ask for an explanation.  He asks only that we call.   

As we walk, or stumble, He may use sorrow and suffering along the way, but remember that He gives us peace on the journey.  He is making us stronger.  Allow Him to give you hinds feet! He wants to take us to High Places and give us a new name. Grace and Glory

“ Oh My Star’s… Yes Ma’am…”

These are just a few of the words that you may hear around the “Smith Girl” house.  Living and ministering in the beautiful city of San Diego can make a southern girl feel a little out of the box at times.  I have three girls who are passionate about music, dance and drama!  We all love it! Let’s just say, we are a high energy family and we have a blast at life!  Five days a week the girls head to the studio for classes.  One week, my oldest daughter’s teacher asked her a question and she responded with “yes ma’am”.  The teacher thought she was being sassy!  This broke my daughters heart.  “Mom, I was just letting her know I understood the directions.” We smoothed things over with a little talk and Jamba Juice.  It can be challenging for a young christian living in a world where respect, morals and values are turning a shade of gray.  As I send my girls out, even to a dance class, I want them to remember to be respectful even if they do sound a little different.  You never know, maybe their accent will rub off on someone else!